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For the majority of folks, the highway to individual transformation and self-improvement is a long and winding trail filled with complex barriers. Drug companies in particular have capitalized on and created massive fortunes based on the elusive search for the "Magic Pill" that will fix everything. As it turns out, there is a secret formula for success, and it begins in the subconscious mind.

One of the presuppositions of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is that "there is a positive intention behind all behaviors." And based on that rule, when it comes to eliminating negative behaviors, there is a formula that we must always keep in mind. I'll let you in on the secret equation in a minute. But I have a riddle for you to solve first.

Riddle: A holy man made his child drink lye, which burned out the child's vocal chords. What was the positive intention behind his behavior?

If you are like 99.9% of the clients who have visited my office since 1978, you'll say something like: "There's no positive intention behind that behavior." But you would be 100% incorrect. To answer this riddle, first you have to detach the behavior from the positive intent of the deed.

The preacher's child was cursing. And the minister believes that if a person curses, his soul will be condemned to Hell. So the answer is that the minister was burning out his child's vocal cords so that he couldn't curse. By doing so, he was saving his child's soul from being fated to suffer in Hell.

The secret equation for personal change works as follows:

We should always respect the positive intent behind each behavior. If we have a compulsion to engage in a behavior that we don't like, we can quickly get rid of the urge to use that behavior. All we must do is to find another behavior and substitute it in its place. To be successful, the new conduct must be as accessible and effective at accomplishing the same secondary gain, but be more consciously tolerable to you. We call this a REFRAME.

When clients come into my office, the first thing I do is to take a careful case history. Let's say that they come to me and ask me to help them eliminate their appetite. Experience tells us that the two main reasons that people eat too much are: (1) for relaxation and pleasure; (2) because eating can be a conditioned response. Case in point, if a person eats while they are watching TV, they will develop a conditioned response, and thereafter, every time they sit down to watch TV, they'll get cravings and an urge to eat.

However, the above answer only takes into consideration the possible positive intention behind the behavior of eating. What if they also have another behavior that is concerned in the equation? For instance: What if being obease is also a behavior for this person? I can hear your mind spinning right now as you think, "Being heavy isn't a behavior, what are you talking about?"

Sorry but you could be completely incorrect. Here is a simple classic textbook example that will clearly demonstrate the fact that being heavy can be a behavior. It can be a behavior because it can accomplish positive outcomes.

Example: A woman is in love. Her boyfriend breaks up with her, and her heart is broken. Her subconscious mind wants to protect her emotionally and keep her from having her heart broken again. So it motivates her to get heavy to keep her out of relationships. By doing that she will not get her heart broken again.

Everyone is totally different. And sometimes there are unconscious elements at work causing compulsive behaviors. These are elements that are different for each person.

Here is another example: A woman comes to my office complaining of an out of control urge to eat too much at dinnertime. During my case history, upon questioning, the woman tells me about how she has never been able to please her dad.

During an age regression, we learned that one of her early memories was of eating a meal with the family. And her father was insisting in a very loud voice that she eat everything on her plate, even though she was bursting at the seams. So she ate the food left on her plate because of fear, and her dad praised her for finishing all of the food. It was one of the only times in her life that she could recall her dad telling her that she had made him happy.

Jump forward to the present. Her father has been dead for many years, but the unconscious program he installed is still working. She still has a powerful compulsion to finish everything on her plate, even if she is feeling stuffed, because by cleaning the plate, in her unconscious mind she is getting dad's approval, and eliminating her own fear!

So if you have a problem making personal changes, you should remember that there is a positive intention that causes all behaviors. And the formula for successful change is to alternate a different behavior that will achieve the same positive intention, but in a manner that is more consciously suitable to you, as an individual. The most effective way to get your subconscious mind to assume the responsibility for making this kind of alteration for you is through an NLP 6-Step Reframing Method.